Usually, adults will just give us a sympathetic smile and nod, but kids are not quite as subtle. I have had several kids this summer come right up to me and say, "What is wrong with her?" Even though I know kids mean nothing by this question, and I like sharing our story, it still stings a little every time and I am always at a loss for words as how to answer this question when I am talking to a child.
Several different responses have gone through my mind...
....she was born this way...
....she has an ouwie (sp?) on her brain...
....God has a special plan for her...
...her legs don't work...
...she likes to be pushed around in this chair...
...she can't walk and run like you, but she loves to giggle when you tickle her...
They all seem like cheesy answers, yet they have to be simple enough for a child to understand. Although these bold questions from kids are not always easy to answer, I do love how most kids respond. Usually after they hear my response they shrug their shoulders and go on to touch her face, talk to her or tickle her arms. Kid are less inhibited by her special needs then some adults. Just last night several neighborhood kids were fighting over who got to push Ruby around the cul-de-sac in her wheelchair; this acceptance warms my heart.
I'm not sure how to wrap these thoughts up tonight...
I love to talk about Ruby and I hope her story will touch others and give glory to God. Please don't be afraid to ask me about her.
Even so, sometimes I am sad that my daughter needs explaining.
2 comments:
For some reason this post reminded me of the song by the Glee Cast (I know, I know--I'm way too old to be watching Glee--I'm in my 30's) "Born This Way." My sister used to not like the term "special needs" because we ALL have special needs. I struggle with anxiety and depression. My husband has terrible eyesight and bad food allergies. My best friend has chronic headaches. My cousin used to struggle with an eating disorder. Etc. Ruby's needs just are more visible and apparent. It is very humbling to hear your story. We need to be more bold and ask questions versus looking away.
I agree - be bold and ask, just doing in a polite way. I like when kids ask because they are straightforward and accepting. I always try to feel out the parents (if they are present) to guage how much their want their child to know. I, too, love to talk about Marissa and want others to feel comfortable around her. I find my kids are extremely open when they see other children with special needs. They'll comment about their wheelchairs or AFO's or feeding tubes because it's all stuff they are used to seeing and are accepting of.
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