Library Adventure

Snow days used to mean sleeping in. As a teacher, I always looked forward to waking up early, seeing my school on the bottom of the local news and then crawling back into a warm, cozy bed.

Now, snow days mean a schedule change and that is usually not good for my kids or for me.

Today was a snow day (actually a rain day). I don't teach on Mondays, but Ruby and Charlie go to school on Mondays. Having them both home all day really changes things for me; I am fairly stuck with all three kids because I can't push Tabatha in a stroller, Ruby in a wheelchair and keep my eye on Charlie as he runs around all at the same time. I am not a big fan of that "stuck in the house all day" feeling.  Thankfully I had Emily (my babysitter) for part of the day today so for a little while she did therapy on Ruby and I was able to run out with Charlie and Tabatha. Still, getting groceries with two active kids around lunchtime is no easy feat.

On the way home from the grocery store Tabatha feel asleep for ten minutes. She decided that was enough of a nap for her.  She refused to nap the rest of the afternoon. Charlie and Ruby were not interested in napping either, so by 3pm I was ready to pull my hair out.

So, I did what any good Mom would do, I put all the kids in the van and I put in a Curious George movie. (Mom of the Year Award coming my way, I know :)

Since all of the kids were already in the car I thought, maybe I could take them to the library, by myself.  I could carry Tabatha, Charlie would walk (yeah right) beside me and I could push Ruby. She seemed calm so why not give it a try?

The library was packed. I should have returned my books and headed for home. There was no handicapped parking available so I had to pull into a spot, back half way out of the spot, shut off the car, signal traffic behind me to go around, put the ramp down, get Ruby out and park her wheelchair next to the car, put the ramp up, pull forward and then get the other kids out.  I was tired before we go to the sidewalk.  We walked from the back of the parking lot, Charlie running next to us while I was pushing Ruby and holding Tabatha.

So far so good I thought. All was well. We got up the elevator, I pushed Ruby around,  Charlie helped me pick out some movies while Tabatha banged on the computer keyboard (I can't keep her away!).  Charlie even used the public bathroom completely by himself :)

Then, about halfway through our book selection, ten minutes into our library visit, Ruby lost it.  She started tightening up, moaning and crying.  Nothing would quiet her and I had a toddler and preschooler to reign in and a bag full of books to check out.  Everyone was glancing out of the corner of their eyes at us and I was sweating.  We already draw a lot of attention when we are with Ruby and now she was having a fit.

We made a beeline for the self check out. Charlie helped me scan the books while I tried to quiet Ruby down, to no avail.  I grabbed Tabatha and we go out of there as fast as we could. As soon as we got outside, Ruby started smiling. I should have been glad she was fine, but instead I was a little annoyed that she had manipulated the library visit.

I always had these visions of what being a Mom would be like. Running out of the library with a crying kid in a hot pink wheel chair was not what I pictured.

Ruby was probably just hungry and tired. I am sure the new sounds and lights got to her.  I should not have tried to venture out with all three kids. But that is what is frustrating...I can't take all of my kids out by myself. I need help to hang out with all of them together! Even something as tame as the library doesn't go well and I wish it would.

For the most part, our normal feels good and I have peace. We have a routine and it works; I love my family.  Once in awhile, when we are out in public, I see my family through other people's eyes. It is easier to feel sorry for myself then.

I have to remember that strangers don't know my kids, especially my Ruby. They don't know Ruby's snorts or giggles. They have never seen her kick and laugh in the pool. They don't know her tickle spots and they can't understand her tears.

I know her and love her, no matter how she does in the library.  It is okay to feel bummed about our situation once in a while, but I have to remember it is silly to judge my own life when I am looking through other people's glasses.

God- give me feet to walk the path you have laid out for me.