I think Ruby is having tantrums. When she doesn't get what she wants she will scream and holler. No tears are shed usually, she just yells! This is actually a great devlopmental step for us. She is aware enough of her surroundings to know what she likes and doesn't like. She also has found her voice; she doesn't have words yet, but she uses her voice to communicate her needs and wants to us. I am thrilled that she knows what she wants and is trying to tell us, but it poses some problems as well.
For so long, Ruby got whatever she wanted and rightly so. She was so uncomfortable with all the seizures and she had been through so much, so we used a lot of cuddling and bottle feeding to soothe her. Now that her seizures have calmed down, she still expects to be held or get her bottle whenever she wants. This would be fine if I could sit on the couch and hold her all day long, but I have things I have to get done and another child to take care of. Also, we want to transition Ruby from the bottle to the sippy cup. She can drink out of the cup, but sometimes she decides she doesn't want to and then it is very hard to force her to.
So, we are trying to decide on some strategies to teach Ruby that she can't have tantrums or yell and holler to get what she wants. We have started to touch Ruby's mouth and firmly tell her "no" when she yells. We are also trying not to give her a bottle or pacifier until she has calmed down, instead of using the bottle to calm her everytime she gets mad. This is tough, especially when we are in public with a screaming child, but we need her to learn how to self soothe.
It is wierd to say that I am thankful Ruby is having tantrums like a two year old should. She is figuring out how to communicate with us and she is showing us she knows what she wants. Even so, I need to teach her she won't get what she wants whevever she yells.
Any of you have ideas? How have those of you with special kiddos approached disipline and behavior problems?
6 comments:
this is one of the toughest areas for us. i always feel bad about putting alaina in time-out... but we do it anyways. time-outs work the best for us. we put her in the corner but so she is safe. since she is 6 she gets 6 minutes. so whatever age she is that's the minutes she gets. after time-out we explain why we put her there and if her mood/attitude changes then we know she is learning and if not well then we know she needs more teaching :) either way she's grown to respect the time-out and doesn't like to be isolated!
Hey Kelli - Our daughter (who also has epilepsy) would have these terrible tantrums which were medication induced actually. We did something along the lines of what you are doing - a very firm no - but in her case, we put her in her bed until she calmed down. No amount of talking, soothing, instructing, etc. was possible while the tantrum was going on. But she learned to calm down and she seemed to understand after a while that the tantrum wasn't acceptable. I think you are on the right track. Hang in there! Praying for you.... aw
That is a good idea; she does seem to stay fairly calm in her bed. Thanks for the advice; we will give it a try!
Wow. Ruby's progress these past couple of weeks is amazing. I'm so impressed that she is drinking from a sippy cup, and having tantrums. It's really awesome!!! She is so cute. I am so happy for you guys.
Hi Kelli! I work with special needs children almost every day. The best thing is to main consistant. You would be surprised to realize how much they understand. I am not an expert, but one thing that works in our classroom is we give the child what he/she wants after the tantrum. Just explain to her if she wants to drink....then use the sippy cup--or nothing to drink. If she wants to be held, then find some way for her to communicate with a sign of some sort that she wants to be held----then you can help her grasp simple concepts. Just something to try----
Glad to hear Ruby is able to share some of her needs. Seems this is opening a new door to her heart - and yours :). Please know that your family is an inspiration to many as you continue to face struggles, disappointments, and unexpected turns but continue to choose to praise God in the midst of it all.
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