For the most part, those old dreams don't get me down anymore. I have accepted Ruby the way she is and we have learned to enjoy her for her. We don't think about "milestones" much anymore; we try to just celebrate any progress she might make. We LOVE that she giggles and smiles all the time and we truly enjoy our bond with her.
For some odd reason yesterday my mind wandered and I let myself think about the "what ifs". Charlie, Tabatha and I had so much fun playing outside yesterday morning, yet I felt sad that Ruby couldn't enjoy the beautiful summer day like her siblings could. Random pictures of her running with Charlie in the yard and her going down the slide in the kiddie pool kept popping into my head. Ruby and Charlie would have so much fun together if she could run and play with him.
I shouldn't let my mind go there, but it did for a few moments yesterday.
Tomorrow will be better.
2 comments:
Kelli - I am with you. We left Marissa behind on the 4th because of the heat. The other three children had so much fun at the parade and I was truly miserable because she was missing. She is a vital part of our family and as she has gotten older and her needs have become more challenging, it has become more difficult at times to find a way to make events "work" for everyone. Yet, I know I can't deprive the other children of experiences just like I can't force her to do things that I know either aren't safe for her or that she would hate (places that are crowded or noisy). Just wanted you to know you're not alone.
I think that is normal. I wish someday you would wake up, and Ruby's special needs would all be healed. That would be so wonderful. I really wish that could happen. She is so adorable.
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